Flying with the Dove
& Her Loves

October 24, 2013

It makes it all worth it when you know he loves you

When I am gone for a bit and Grey is with my mom or another babysitter, I worry that he won't know who is mom is; that he won't remember that I am the one who carried him in my tummy for 9 months and brought him into this world. But when I get home and he makes eye contact with me, he smiles from ear to ear, and I know that he knows I am the one that loves him most, and that I am someone special to him.

The past few nights have been rough for baby Grey and his parents.... He was starting to sleep so well and now he wakes up crying a few times a night. Sometimes I think he has nightmares and being scared wakes him up. All we have to do is pick him up and hold him for a minute and then he is back to sleep.

Last night in particular, was very hard. He went to bed at 9pm and woke up at 1:30am so I fed him and put him back to bed. Then 15 min later he woke up crying only to fall back to sleep in my arms a minute later. This continued to happen every 20 or so minutes until 3:30am. Feeding didn't help, diaper change didn't help, and burping didn't help.

Finally I swaddled him up and held him across my body. He nuzzled his little face into my shirt as if he was smelling me and smiled so big. He continued to smile as I laid down in bed with him keeping him tight against me.  He would hold onto my hair, my shirt, and my neck to make sure I was still there and it melted my heart. He fell asleep until 6:30... all the while I laid there wide awake. I had Nate take him and he cried when he put him in the crib. I changed my shirt and put the one I was wearing before in his crib and laid him down on it and he fell asleep again for quite a while.

Knowing that my scent calms him or makes him feel safe, makes me so happy and really helps me realize that I am someones mom. I am the one he will run to when he gets hurt. The one to calm his tears. I am the one that will hold him when he needs a friend or gets scared. I am the one that he will tell all his secrets to... and the one who will always love him no matter how much sleep he makes me lose. I love Grey with all of my heart and I know I am so entirely blessed to have him as my son.

The video is pretty dark but the audio is so cute!


  1. Hi!
    What you are writing reminds me a lot of what my parents told me about my baby-life: I would wake up up to 8 times a night!!!
    18 years later I went to the doctor and he told me that I'm lactose intolerant. That was the reason I woke up my parents every night for 2 years.
    Maybe little Grey has nightmares or is frightend of the dark or something else. But maybe he could be lactose intolerant just like I am.
    I'm not a mother myself and I've no place in giving you advice, but I think if my parents had known or if they would have received a hint, they could have had some more nights of sleep.

    Anyway, listen to your heart, you will find the reason for his crying.
    Wishing you all the best!

    1. Hey Katie, thanks for the advice. I am seeing the doc for his 4 month check up in 2 weeks so I will definately ask her about that! I hope it is something we could solve like that!